“Too much of my life has been spent doubting my beliefs and believing my doubts.” This quote from The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews has been echoing in my mind as I tackle a feat so large it seems I’ll never accomplish it.
Just when I doubt my ability to write my book, God challenges my doubt. When I question the logic of spending the time and money to attend She Speaks writer’s conference in North Carolina, God reminds me He called me to live by faith not by logic. When I wonder if any one out there has any interest in what I have to say, a woman says to me, “I’d like to pick your brain about how you got started in ministry.”
I crawled into bed the other night doubting the necessity of registering for the She Speaks writer’s conference. (I had already done it so all I was doing was worrying about something that was a done deal – I do stupid stuff like that sometimes) This writer’s conference is a financial investment I wasn’t sure I was willing to make. It felt unnecessary in one sense – the sense that, as far as I know, I have only one book inside me. Should I really make such an investment to write one book?
Did I really want to go? Would it really be worth it? Do I have the determination and the brain-power to actually bring what’s in my heart and mind to print? Questions. Questions. Questions. I asked myself all these questions that were getting me nowhere. Then I realized I was asking the wrong question. I wasn’t asking the one question that gets me through my doubts, my fears and my apprehension. The question I wasn’t asking was
(If I’ll remember to ask myself this question frequently, I’ll save myself a lot of brain stress) “What did God say?” is really the only question that matters. That question has gotten me passed more barriers and over more blockades – which are often of my own making – than anything else.
Does it matter if I want to go? What did God say? “Go.”
Does it matter if I think it’s worth it? What did God say? “Go.”
Does it matter if I think it’s a good investment? What did God say? “Go.”
Does it matter if I think I even have what it takes to write this book? What did God say? “Go.”
It doesn’t matter what I think, how I feel or what I want. What matters is what God said. And God said, “Go.” That I know.
I believe the blog posts I write are often meant for specific people at specific times. I believe that God has the power to arrange your day, your interest or even your curiosity to open this blog post and read it because He wants to speak a very clear message to you.
Today, know that God’s message to you is to stop believing your doubts. Stop listening to the little voice in your head that’s telling you, “You can’t.” “It’ll never happen.” “You don’t have the money.” “You don’t have the talent.” “You don’t have the resources, connections or stick-to-itiveness.” This is a lesson I’m learning and re-learning. I speak it to myself often.
We have to quit believing our doubts and keep believing in the One who called us. Believe that we CAN hear from God. Believe that He will help us do what He’s called us to.
Doubt is a killer of dreams and visions and we’ll never reach the world for Christ if we don’t step into the ministry God is calling us to. We don’t have to make it all work. We don’t have to figure it all out. We only have to believe in our calling. Believe in our God who called us. And keep those doubts far far away from our vision.
Friends, join me. Let’s kick our doubts to the curb and go get our dreams.