Should I Break Into Tears or Eat a Sandwich?

Okay, maybe breaking into tears is a better way of dealing with my current catastrophe but… I opted for the sandwich.  It’s about time for an afternoon snack anyway.  Justification.  

I sat down this afternoon to write some more on my book.  I’m writing a book for women who feel called into ministry.  This is not an easy process and I have to be in the right frame of mind to get my thoughts flowing.  Well, I’ve been on a roll lately and I’ve made a lot of progress.  Yay!  I texted my friend Rita the other day and told her I’m halfway through my rough draft.  Well… I was halfway through my rough draft.

When I sat down at my computer (my new computer that is not psycho) I opened the file containing thousands of words and found the file…. blank.  Zero.  Zilch.  Nada.  There’s not one thing on the page.  It’s as white as snow.  The file is there but the page is blank.  B.L.A.N.K. blank.

I didn’t panic because I figured I could surely find an earlier version with Time Machine.  Time Machine was not on.  And I did not have it backed up by any other means.  ((sigh))  The whole file was not deleted.  The words were erased.  I don’t know how or when it happened.  But… every word has vanished into thin air.

I suppose the only thing left to do is start over.  All over.  From the beginning.  But… that’s not happening today.  I need to put a day between this tragedy and me.

When you experience a disappointment how do you deal with it?  Some people eat.  Some people throw things.  Some people unleash a barrage of colorful words.  Some people break down into tears and others just stare into space with disbelief.  This was my first reaction.  There are all kinds of ways we deal with the shock of disappointment.

I realized a long time ago that when something’s been done and there’s no going back, the sooner you accept what you can’t change and move on the better.  Did that make sense?  Really.  When we get all worked up about things we usually regret it.  I’m speaking from experience here.  Why not just accept the facts and start fresh?   That’s what works best.

Since I can’t bring myself to start over today, I’ll go start super.  I’m fixing supper for Dora and Gary (sister-in-law and brother-in-law) tonight and we’re going out to hang some deer stands.  Being in the great outdoors with people you love has a way of making things better.  And I need to shift my focus from that stark white blank page onto something better.  So… cooking supper it is.

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